12th
A crackup at the race riots
If I could’ve been friends with one person when I was 21, it would have been Harmony Korine. Here’s how I imagine we would spend our days…
1. Drop acid
2. Make hats out of pamphlets we had been given by D.A.R.E activists.
3. Eat some ice cream
4. paint on fake mustaches and go door to door, offering half eaten ice cream sculptures for $780. For an even $1000, we would autograph them.
5. Break into houses in los angeles and paint bunny ears on anything of value.
6. Steal any pornography we found in the houses, and plant certain images inside hymnals of local churches.
7. Go repent and wash our sins clean in the nearest car wash.
8. Shoot 8mm film of streetwalkers, serving chicken soup at a homeless shelter.
9. Shoot 16mm film of crackheads singing “smile when your heart feels sadness”.
10. Invite the streetwalkers and crackheads to build an amusement park out of only cardboard boxes and discarded needles.
11. Invite children, from only the best prep schools, to spend a day at the park. Completely free of charge.
12. Shoot 35mm film of the park being burnt down to the tune of “I’m forever blowing bubbles”.
13. Eat something.
14. Spike cocktails with mescaline at the viper room. Get onstage and begin reciting the ten commandments. Don’t leave until we are carried out.
15. Cut off chunks of blonde girls hair when they aren’t looking. Make a wig out of the hair and sell it for $,1236.
16. Fall asleep, hanging upside down, from a rooftop.
